Hajra Khan courageously reported on her battle with clinical depression and high-level anxiety on a Sunday morning in a series of tweets. The captain of the Pakistani women’s football team urged people with mental health problems to also talk about their problems.
Good morning Twitter! Since I became publicly known about my mental illness, I have received immense love and support. For those who missed it, I suffer from clinical depression and severe anxiety; and I’m not afraid to share my story.
A stigmatized belief is that a mental struggle is a sign of weakness. This is contrary to the idea of an athlete as an example of a person in good health. But I’ve been in therapy for a year now and I’m being treated by a doctor, she wrote.
“How much you struggle or how overwhelming your symptoms can feel, you are never alone and you are worth it, and you deserve help,” she said. “My job is to reconcile my private and professional life. Therefore, athletes like everyone else are prone to various mental health problems. “
People are making a lot of mistakes out of fear, Hajra added, adding that many people do not realize that something is wrong and that they are inadvertently hurting others. “As a consequence, they accuse you of many bad things caused by the disease that you could not really control.”
She talked about some of her symptoms of depression, including dissociation, apathy, fatigue, motivation, and drowsiness, to expose the misunderstanding that leads to “shame and stigma.” The “terrible combination” of lack of concentration, fatigue, and apathy keeps your brain in the “dial-up phase” for extended periods of time, Hajra said.
Dissociation is consumed (by depression) so that you are no longer yourself. “It feels like you are the first person in a video game or movie. You have no emotional connection to reality because you are not there. Literally only the existence feels impossible, “she added.
There were times when she felt like living in a dream sequence. “I can see and record my surroundings, but I do not feel part of it. So many people, but at this moment they mean very little.
“Depression symptoms often have the ability to infiltrate everything, from the smallest, most ignorant details of life, to the biggest and most important aspects of life,” she said. “Trying to explain this often feels like trying to stay afloat.”
She noted that her mission to promote mental health is a “higher calling” than any athletic achievement.